Finding herself
by Soul4Angel
Summary: Takes place after the events in "Forever" and develops in2 the end of Glory
1. Finding Herself: Prologue

I'm trying something out. PLEASE send feedback if you like and I should continue with this!  
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (1/?)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
Disclaimer: Do I own them? Nope. See, my name is RACHEL, NOT Joss. None of these characters belong to me. I'm not making money off them, blah, blah, blah. Do you really think I would put B/A thru all of this and have Buffy sleeping with Riley? YUK!  
Rating: Do you watch the show?? You can read this. Maybe PG-13ish   
Summary: Begins with post-"Forever" and develops into the end of Glory. B/A  
Spoilers: "Forever" (The B/A scene) and mostly everything in the B/A history that is concentrating on S5/S2  
Authors Notes: ************ ~ Denotes flashback and are thoughts. Also, "Intervention" has NOT and WILL not take place @ all.  
Distribution: My site, Angel Forevermore, the groups I send them to and if everyone else can just tell me where it's going first. I'll probably say yes!   
Feedback? G Does Angel look hott wearing leather pants? (All together now, Nod your head "YES!")   
  
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Buffy walked into the house, sighing as she closed the door. Everything was so quiet, so...dead. Of course everything was dead...her mother and right now she felt as she were dead also.   
  
Today had been the day from hell. The funeral. Buffy had been acting like a robot all day-mostly to keep herself from breaking down and crying. She knew that if she started right now, she'd never be able to stop. So she pushed her feelings away, kept them hidden from everyone-especially Dawn. There was so much that Dawn was going through; it was bad enough that her mom was now dead.   
  
However, there was one person...ONE person in the whole world that still seemed to be able to break the "Buffy wall." And as Buffy sat down on the couch, she thought about him...her angel. OK, well...maybe not *her* angel anymore, but he had come to her town tonight, comforting her after the funeral.   
  
She remembered everything: every touch, feeling, words, and...kisses that they had shared in that five-minute meet. Yes, kisses. They had kissed...she said she was 'needy.'   
  
***********  
That's a bad idea." Buffy said, sitting up to look into Angel's eyes. "I'm seriously needy right now.  
***********  
  
And Angel had said "yes." He had been okay with it!  
  
**********  
"Let me worry about the neediness." Angel said. He looked into her eyes before speaking again. "I can handle it."  
***********  
  
God, she thought, sighing and pushing the hair out of her face. Why don't I just scream at the top of my lungs, 'Angel, I love you!' But even afterward, although Angel was already apologizing, Buffy actually found everything okay. Once again, even after two years, he knew exactly what she needed.   
  
**********  
Angel sighed, saying, "I'm sorry."  
  
"No. I'm *so* grateful that you came, Angel. Buffy replied firmly. And it was true, she was more grateful than Angel could ever understand. "I didn't think I was gonna be able to make it through the night."  
  
"Well, we still have a few more minutes until I have to go." Angel said, looking up into the sky. He wanted to stay as long as he possibly could...both of them did.   
  
"Good." Buffy replied, lying down on his chest again. Although the pain of her recent mother's death was still pounding throughout her body, she finally felt some sort of peace. "Good..."  
**********  
  
I'm such a fool. Buffy thought. I mean, this doesn't change everything. He's still Angel and I'm still the Slayer. We'll love each other till it kills us, but we can't be together. Buffy massaged her forehead, feeling as though she was now thinking herself to the point of a headache. God, I don't even know where we stand, anymore.   
  
Buffy was so deep into her thoughts, she almost missed the sound of the phone ringing-she was doing some majorly heavy brooding. However, on the third ring she caught the phone and walked over to pick it up. "Hello?" She asked.  
  
"Buffy! Thank God you're home!"  
  
"Willow?" She asked, confused. Willow, her best friend, sounded out of breath and incredibly freaked out. "What's wrong?"  
  
"They got her Buffy." Willow tried to explain, panting in between every other word.  
  
"Who got who?" Buffy asked, starting to feel a deep fear in her body.  
  
"Glory...well, Glory's minions. They got her..." Willow explained again,  
  
"WILLOW! WHO?" Buffy shouted in the phone. She knew that there was only one person that Glory really needed, and that was...  
  
"Dawn." Willow said. "They got Dawn."  
  
End of Part 1  
So...what did you think? You want me to continue this, you gotta let me know if you liked it or not!   



	2. Finding Herself 2

WOAH! Thank you to everyone that sent me feedback on this first part. Wow, I must have gotten like 20 e-mails. I feel all happy now. So I was trying extra hard to get the next part out. THANKS!  
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
Disclaimer in part 1!  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (2/?)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
  
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"What?" Buffy asked. Please tell me that I heard something wrong. she inwardly pleaded. "Glory got..."  
  
"She got Dawn." Willow explained. By now her breathing had slowed down to normal and she spoke to Buffy in a rushed manner. "The minions broke into Giles's place and tied her up and dragged her away."  
  
"How?" Buffy thought. "How would they know she's the key?" God, no. This can't be happening. I just lost my mother and now I'm getting ready to loose Dawn.   
  
"Well...she doesn't." Willow said. "We think she's just using Dawnie as bait...to get you out and-"  
  
"And exchange Dawn *for* the key." Buffy said. "Do you think that could be what she's up to?"  
  
"Look Buffy, we don't know." Willow said. By now, both of the girls were frustrated and mad beyond belief. "What do we do? Dawnie might be-"  
  
"Do NOT say that. Dawn is *not* dead." Buffy said. I couldn't take it if that happened to her...I just couldn't take it for one minute even. My Mom just died and now Dawn is kidnapped. That was literally the ONLY thought that was racing throughout her mind right now. I can't do this right now.  
  
Willow took a deep breath. "Okay...what do we do, Buffy?"   
  
"Call everyone. Get them to Giles." She said.  
  
"You're on your way, then, right?" Willow asked her next.  
  
"Yeah, I just...I have a call I have to make." Buffy said distantly, keeping her voice as emotionless as possible. "I'll be there in a minute. Just get the gang there."   
  
"Okay, Buffy. See you there." And with that, the two girls hung up the phone.   
  
Buffy buried her head in her hands. Not NOW. she thought. I just can't take this...I can't be the Slayer, get over my Mother's death, care for Dawn, and now fight Glory. She sighed. I just can't do all of this at one time. Buffy closed her eyes, willing away the tears that were so close to spilling out. No...I can't cry now. I don't have time.  
  
Buffy reached forward and picked up the phone, placing the receiver next to her ear. Never had that buzzing that she heard seemed louder. With tears beginning to fall down her cheeks, she dialed the number she had in mind.   
  
When the person on the other line picked up, Buffy took a deep breath before saying, "Hey...It's me, Buffy."   
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The crew at Angel Investigations had recently moved back into the Hyperion Hotel. Several days had passed since then and now, the gang was back to normal...even though Wesley was now the boss instead of Angel. Everything was running smoothly.   
  
"Hey," Angel said, walking in from the parking lot. He had just gotten back from visiting Buffy and was trying not to make a big deal of it. "What's up, you guys?"  
  
Gunn greeted him with a nod of his head and went back to sorting weapons. Cordelia and Wesley, on the other hand, could see through him, and knew that something major had happened in Sunnydale. Cordelia walked up to him, saying, "What happened?"  
  
Angel shrugged it off. He really didn't want to talk about how he had been kissing the woman of his dreams...the woman he was forbidden to be with. "It was no big deal...we talked some, and just sat together." He avoided looking into Cordelia's eyes.  
  
"How is Buffy?" Wesley asked him.  
  
"How do you think?" Angel asked back to him. "Her mother just died. She's not skipping through the graveyard, smiling and laughing."  
  
"Well, I figured that, Angel." Wesley replied, folding his arms in front of his chest. "Just...did your visit help?"  
  
Angel looked down at the floor. He could still smell her on him...against his coat, feel her lips on his. "Yeah...it helped." Helped make everything a hell of a lot more confusing. He thought.  
  
"Well, that's good, right?" Gunn asked the group. No one said anything. Both Cordelia and Wesley knew that Buffy and Angel had a history...A very long, angsty, and never-ending history. Oh, if Gunn only knew...  
  
To the left on Cordelia's desk, the phone rang out. Cordelia walked over and picked it up, cheerfully saying, "Angel Investigations, how may we help you?" She paused a second, listening to the voice on the other line. "Oh...Oh, God. Okay, hold on." Cordelia covered the phone with her hand, looking at Angel. "It's for you."   
  
"Okay.." Angel replied, walking over and picking up the phone. Cordelia gave the phone to him and walked several feet away, standing next to Gunn and Wesley.   
  
"Hello?" a weak, meager, and frail-sounding voice said into the phone.  
  
Right away, Angel knew who it was. "Buffy..." Angel said in surprise. "What...what's wrong?" He asked, skipping past the pleasantries.  
  
He heard Buffy begin to sob. "Angel...they got her, they got her!"   
  
Angel licked his lips nervously..."Who got who?" Angel asked. Behind him, he could feel his three friends begin to get worried.   
  
"Glory..." Buffy managed to say. "She kidnapped Dawn."  
  
"Oh God." Angel whispered into the phone.   
  
"We think she's just using Dawn to lure me out...to tell Glory where the key is...Angel...SHE HAS THE KEY!" Buffy shouted into the receiver, before choking back her sobs.  
  
"Buffy," My love, He added silently. "Everything will be okay. What...what do you want me to do?"  
  
"Angel...come back...come back to me." She said. "I need you...I need you, and Cordelia, and Wesley to help me with this. I can't let Glory get Dawn...my sister, the key...the only person I have left with me." Buffy was on the verge of hysteria.  
  
"Buffy..." Angel whispered into the phone. "All right. We're already out the door." He spoke without even looking back at Wesley. If this was a case where Buffy was involved, Angel was taking over. No 'buts' about it. When Buffy's or one of her friend's life was in danger, Angel swore he would protect them.   
  
"Angel...thank you." Buffy said. "I'll...I'll be at Giles. So will everyone else. God, we don't even know where to look, what to do when we find her...IF we can find her."  
  
"Don't say that Buffy. We will find her." Angel said. "I won't let anything happen to Dawn."  
  
Buffy sniffed back tears. "I knew you'd say that." She said. "Get here as soon as you can."  
  
"You know I will...we will." Angel corrected.   
  
"Thank you." Buffy said, emotionlessly. Angel began to hang up the phone when he heard Buffy begin to speak again. "Angel...I love you." And Buffy hung up the phone before Angel could reply.  
  
Angel wanted to jump for joy that she loved him, he wanted to go walk around smiling...but there was too much going on right now. Dawn was in trouble and Buffy had asked for his help. There was no way he could screw up now. Angel turned around, looking at his associates. "We're going to Sunnydale." He said forcefully.  
  
"Angel-" Wesley began.  
  
"*Don't* argue with me right now, Wesley." Angel said, walking over to grab his black jacket. "We're going. No questions."  
  
Wesley looked down at the floor before talking again. "I was just going to ask you whether you wanted us to pick you up in the back or front?"  
  
Angel stopped and looked around, feeling embarrassed that he had jumped to conclusions the way he had. "Oh...the back is fine." He began heading that way.   
  
"Oh great. Another trip to Sunnyhell." Cordelia said sarcastically as she, Gunn, and Wesley walked out, preparing to go to Sunnydale.  
  
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End of part 2  
Feed me!  
  
  
  



	3. Finding Herself 3

WOAH! Thank you to everyone that sent me feedback on the last part that I just sent out. Thanks!!!!! Just like last time, I feel so happy now!  
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
Disclaimer in part 1!  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (3/?)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
  
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Buffy walked into Giles's house breathless. She looked around the room nervously, glancing at the members that stood around her. "Where are they?" She asked, looking over at Giles.  
  
"Who?" He replied.  
  
Buffy walked inside, setting her Slayer bag down on the floor. "I...I called Angel. He and his crew are coming down here to help us."  
  
Willow and Xander immediately looked as though they were getting ready to say something; however, with the look on Buffy's face and the expression in her eyes, everyone in the room knew that this was no time to be talking back. Buffy sat down on the cough, letting out a huge sigh. A full 24 hours hadn't even passed since they had buried her mother, and now she had to go straight into Slayer-mode to save Dawn. Couldn't she get a break? No, of course she couldn't...she was the Slayer, she had to be *strong*.  
  
Finally, Buffy sat up, sniffing back her tears and looking around at her friends. Anya, Tara, Willow, Xander, and Giles...her friends that she could count on. They stood silently, watching her. Watching the Slayer try to deal with everything that was going on in her life. Buffy looked at all of them and attempted to smile, trying to keep the atmosphere as light as possible. "Okay..." Buffy whispered. "Where do we stand with Glory? Where do we start looking?" She looked at Giles, waiting for some kind of answer.  
  
"Well, I guess that-" Giles's voice stopped when there came a knocking on the front door. Giles closed the book that he had open and walked over to open the door. When he opened the door, Giles somewhat gasped in surprise. "Angel...Cordelia...Wesley?" Giles said, looking at the ex-watcher. "Oh, do come in, please."   
  
Angel, Cordelia, Wesley, and a tall stranger walked inside Giles's house. Angel closed the door behind him and looked around, taking in the old, somewhat familiar settings in. It had been two years since he was here last...and nothing had changed. However, the members of the 'Scooby gang' had. He glanced around the room...Willow, Xander...Anya? I think that's her name. Angel thought. And...someone new who sat at Willow's left side. Oh, Tara. Angel thought, thinking back to what Cordelia had told him about Willow and Tara.   
  
"Giles..." Angel started, "nice to see you again." Although he spoke to Giles, his eyes were on Buffy. The woman who had just said she loved him less that two hours ago now sat less than 6 feet away from him. Her arms were wrapped protectively around herself and tears rimmed her eyes, threatening to spill any second. Millions of thoughts were racing throughout her mind right now. More than anything, Angel just wanted to take her into his arms and wipe her tears away. Make everything feel better, because no one such as she deserved pain this great at all.   
  
"Likewise, Angel." Giles said. He nodded to Cordelia, Wesley, and the man at their side before looking back at their boss.   
  
"Oh...this is Gunn." Angel said, looking over at Gunn.   
  
"Hey, how you doing, man?" Gunn asked, shaking Giles hand very quickly.   
  
"Nice to meet you...Gunn." Giles said. "This is, uh, Tara and Willow, Xander and Anya, and I'm Giles." Giles explained, pointing out each member in the room. He glanced over at Buffy nervously, who seemed that she was in an entirely different universe. "So, uh...how-how long have you been working with Angel?"  
  
"Giles, skip the pleasantries." Buffy said, interrupting him. "We need to deal with this now. *Right* now." She looked up at him.   
  
"Buffy, chill out." Xander said calmly. "We can deal with this easy." And Anya nodded in agreement, having no real clue about what Buffy was going through...she was just agreeing with Xander.  
  
"You don't have the slightest idea about dealing with something like this! Neither of you do!" Buffy lashed out at him, standing up. Angel stared at her sudden change in emotions, wishing he could wish all her pains away. 'You didn't just loose your Mom three days ago and now your sister is kidnapped!"   
  
"Woah...wait a minute!" Cordelia said, stepping in. "*Sister*?!" She looked around the room. "Since when did Slay-gal get a sister? I thought we were helping her save this 'key' thing."  
  
Buffy looked as though she was about to either slap Cordelia or suddenly break down and start to cry uncontrollably. "God, I can't deal with this right now. I'm going patrolling. See if I can find anything about Glory and Dawn." Buffy walked over and grabbed her back, walking out the door and slamming it behind her.   
  
Angel looked back at the door. He wanted...no, needed to follow her. She would be in no condition to fight with all the emotions she was dealing with right now. "Giles...maybe I should-"  
  
"Go after her?" Giles asked him back.  
  
"Yeah." And with that, Angel began heading towards the door. "Wesley, Gunn, Cordy...help them, okay?" Angel asked, looking back at his associates. He barely saw them all nod before following Buffy into the night.   
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"Buffy!" Angel yelled, catching up with her.  
  
"Angel," Buffy acknowledged, but continuing to walk away from him. "You don't have to come with me." She looked down at the ground, keeping her voice emotionless.  
  
"Yes I do. I said I was coming down here to help you out." Angel replied, matching his pace with hers. "If you ran into Glory, you wouldn't have a chance against her."  
  
Buffy chuckled. "You still know exactly what to do." Buffy said. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, staring ahead of her now. For several moments, no words were shared between the two. You could barely tell it, but there was actually tension between Buffy and Angel. It had been a lifetime since they had patrolled the streets of Sunnydale together...almost an entirely different lifetime. However, once again, the big, bad evil had brought them together.   
  
Buffy and Angel walked for hours it seemed without a word being shared. By now they had reached the sea caves of Sunnydale. The two had patrolled here together in the past, and they walked along the rocky mounds, keeping their ears out for anything unexpected.   
  
Suddenly, Buffy let out a sob and fell to her knees. In a flash, Angel was right there, holding her shoulders, comforting her. "Angel..." Buffy began to sob. "I can't- I can't do this. I can't loose my sister. Dawn, she's all I have left...I just can't loose her." She moaned over and over again.  
  
"Shh, Buffy..." Angel soothed her, wrapping his arms around her. "It'll be okay. Everything will be okay."  
  
"No...it will never be okay. Nothing can ever be okay again." Buffy sobbed into his chest. "nothing will ever be the same ever again."  
  
"Buffy, you can do this...you can get through this. I told you this before, but I'll tell you again, you're strong."  
  
"No I'm not, Angel!" Buffy screamed at him. "I'm weak, small, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore!" She looked at him. "I'm either TOO strong, not being able to let *anyone* in, or I am too weak and I can't concentrate on my job...being a Slayer. And I can't keep this up, Angel! *Everyone* that I love...Mom, Dawn..." her voice died off, unable to finish her thought or sentence.   
  
"Buffy...Dawn will be okay." Angel said. Buffy finally looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Angel tentatively took one of his hands and wiped the tears off her satiny cheek. "You know I won't let anything happen to her. You *know* that."   
  
Buffy sniffed back her tears and tried to gain control of herself again. She stared into Angel's eyes, wondering how she'd ever let him slip out of her hands so easily. "Angel...I *love* love, love, love, love, LOVE you...and if...if I somehow lost you also, then I would just die, I really would-"   
  
And suddenly, his lips were on hers...pushing hard against hers. Very quickly, their simple kiss began spiraling out of control. No! Buffy thought. I can't be doing this...I just can't. But she didn't pull away, she didn't stop.  
  
Angel's hands traveled down her back, feeling her lips on his again. Finally, he had been allowed to see heaven again...to hold his love in his arms. He deepened the kiss, inwardly knowing that what he was doing was entirely wrong. Although he knew that Riley had gone, he knew that this couldn't be...he couldn't be doing this all over again.   
  
Angel was about the pull back, say some kind of apology, and start moving on, but he didn't even get the chance. To the couple's left, they heard a high-pitched scream echo out into the night followed by a shrill, "Get your hands off me!" It was unmistakably Dawn.  
  
Buffy and Angel pulled away, both of them breathing heavy. "Dawn!" Buffy yelled, heading towards the sea caves where she thought she had heard the scream. Angel only climbed to his feet and followed. When he caught up with Buffy, she was already creeping into the caves, ready for anything.  
  
Angel followed her inside, whispering, "Be careful." Although Buffy had filled Angel in on what happened, he was still worried about this Glory-gal. There was no telling what she could be doing to Dawn right now.  
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TBC....part 4 out soon!  
So...tell me the truth...what did you think?  
  
  



	4. Finding Herself 4

WOAH! Thank you to everyone that sent me feedback on the last part that I just sent out. Thanks!!!!! Special thanks to Hannah, niway, Taylor, Ryan, Sara-lee, and many others. Just like last time, I feel so happy now!  
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
Disclaimer in part 1!  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (4/?)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
  
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When Buffy and Angel rounded the corner, they spotted Glory, standing in front of two of her scabby-demon minions. Angel silently walked up behind Buffy, motioning her to stop from walking out any further. Together, the two of them searched the caves with their eyes, looking for Buffy's sister.  
  
"Where is she?" Buffy whispered to Angel. The lights were dim in the caves. Apparently Glory had set up everything in preparation for the key. Several candles and odds and ends were scattered around the room; evidently, Glory was very prepared. Torches lit the walls of the caves, lighting the walls of the room with an eerie glow. Glory obviously expected that Buffy would give the key up in order to get Dawn back.   
  
"Buffy..." Angel whispered back as he nudged her shoulder. He pointed over to a rock on the other side of where the couple stood. Tied to the boulder with thick ropes tied around her body, was Dawn. A very frightened, scared, but apparently unharmed Dawn.  
  
"Oh Dawn..." Buffy whispered, looking over where she was. "Angel...what do we do?"  
  
Angel thought for several seconds. He knew that if they did anything wrong here, Dawn AND Buffy may very well loose their lives. Angel couldn't let that happen. All they needed was a way to get Dawn out of her safely and then follow out behind her. However, both of them had to keep in mind her two minions that stood at her left-hand side.   
  
"Where IS she, Jinx?" Glory demanded. "You told me that if we kidnapped her baby sister over here, she would give us THE KEY!"  
  
"And...and I'm sure she will, your most Glorificus Glory." Jinx replied. "We...we just need to-"  
  
"To give her some time," Murk replied. "The...the Slayer is probably searching for you *right now* your most highest upon high one."   
  
"Can you believe those creeps?" Buffy whispered down to Angel. "Sucking up to get bonus points with Glory."  
  
Angel couldn't help but smile. At least with all of this she was at least trying to keep her spirits high. "All right...here's what we can do." He began talking to her. "You create a distraction with Glory. Go and fight with her...just don't get killed. I'll go rescue Dawn and get her out of here." Buffy nodded. She was following so far. "When you see Dawn get out of here, get out also. Do you think that works?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Sounds good to me." Both of them started moving towards their points. "Angel...be careful." Buffy whispered to him, "get her out of her as fast as possible. And...Angel?" Buffy looked over at him with nothing but love reflecting in her eyes. Angel nodded before gently kissing her lightly on the lips.   
  
"I know, Buffy...I know." Angel replied, before moving away, blending into the darkness as he made his way over to Dawn.  
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Buffy made her way over to Glory. All right...I can do this. I can fight her. NO ONE picks on my sister but me. she thought, trying to remain calm. The only problem was...she could distinctly remember 3 other times where she had faced Glory and gotten her ass kicked. What would make this fight any different?  
  
"Where IS she Jinx?" Glory demanded. "I DON'T have all the time in the world. I WANT MY KEY! WHERE is she, HUH? I WANT HER HERE NOW!"   
  
"Geez, you're going to blow someone's ear drums shouting like that." Buffy said, stepping out of the shadows. She glanced behind Glory and saw Angel continue making his way over to Dawn.  
  
"BUFFY!" Dawn shouted.  
  
Glory turned slightly, facing Buffy. "Well, well, well. Look who it is. The Slayer. You got my key?"  
  
"You know I'm going to say no, so why even ask?" Buffy replied. She saw Angel approach Dawn and begin to untie the ropes. Maybe there was some way how she wouldn't have to involve anyone but herself.   
  
"UGG! Vampire Slayers! Who needs them?" Glory asked, throwing her hands up in the air. "I mean, all you prissy little girls do is go around-"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. More in love with her own voice than the Mayor. she thought. Finally loosing her patience, Buffy charged.  
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Several feet away, Angel was still trying to get the ropes undone. "Hurry..." Dawn whispered to him. "They're gonna see you."  
  
"No they won't." Angel replied. "I'm...almost...." He heard a crack and saw Buffy go flying backwards and crash into the wall of the caves. Buffy! he thought, resisting the urge to go help her. He watched as she slowly picked herself up off the ground and return with a kick in Glory's side and punch in her side.   
  
"Look what YOU DID!" Glory shouted. "YOU ripped my dress!" And she picked Buffy up and threw her against another rock.   
  
"Angel..." Dawn whispered. "Is Buffy-"  
  
"Buffy's going to be fine." Angel commanded. Finally, with a final twist, the ropes came undone and fell to the floor. Dawn rose to her feet and began heading out of the caves. "Dawn, get out of here. Run and don't stop until you get to Giles's."  
  
"But...you and Buffy-" the girl started.  
  
"We'll follow along in a minute, okay?" Angel told her comfortingly. Dawn gave one more glance to her sister before running out of the caves as fast as her lets could carry her.  
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As Buffy pulled herself back onto her feet again, slower this time. Already she felt as though this might be it...the battle that the Slayer would loose. Her legs, chest, ribs, arms...everything was killing her. She glanced over at Dawn and saw her running out of the caves. Good...she's safe. Buffy thought. That's all that matters now.  
  
Glory, on the other hand, stood victoriously over Buffy with an evil smile on her face. "Slayer, you never learn, do you? Oh-" she looked down at Buffy. "Hey, I like your shoes. Maybe I'll pry them off your dead body."   
  
No, I don't think so! Buffy thought, jumping back up to her feet and standing her full height. She punched Glory in the stomach, over and over, letting her rage of the past 48 hours do the fighting for her. She kneed her in the side, kicked her in the chest, and punched her in the mouth...any place that she could get a clear shot in. All she needed was one second to get free.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Angel was at the back of the caves, looking Buffy fight Glory. She had to upper hand of the battle so far, although, he could tell that Glory wasn't affected at all. Angel was nervous...more nervous than he ever thought he could be about someone. Buffy....come on, get out of there. NOW. Angel thought.   
  
Suddenly, two pairs of scabby hands grabbed his arms, and before he could react, Jinx and Murk were dragging him out.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Buffy was exhausted. Her kicks, punches, and hits were becoming weaker by the second. She wanted a break. She wanted this to be done with. Finally, Glory got her hands free and shoved Buffy back. She went flying and landed hard on her back of the rock caves. Buffy moved to sit up and coughed up blood. She knew that she couldn't take much more. Her body couldn't handle much more. Glory walked over to Buffy on her red, high-heeled pumps. "Time's up, Slayer." She said.  
  
Suddenly, her lackeys came up behind and her interrupted her. "My most magnificent one, highest of all that is high." Jinx started. "We think we may have found something...better."  
  
Buffy groaned and looked up to see what her minion was talking about. Her breathing stopped, her heart literally stopped, she couldn't move a muscle. "Angel." She mouthed, unable to talk. Oh god, oh God, oh God. They have him.  
  
"Oooh, a new toy." Glory said, walking up to Angel. Angel struggled to get free, but her inferiors held onto him tightly. "This could be fun."   
  
Buffy let out another groan and climbed to her feet slowly. Her body felt as though it wouldn't respond to anything that her mind told it to do. "No...let him...go." Buffy said. She looked at Angel, who stood there defiantly. Say something, Angel! She inwardly begged. Get out of here!  
  
Instantly, Glory's arm snaked out and grabbed a hold of Buffy's neck, squeezing the air out of her. Angel struggled more, his attempts useless. God, I'm watching Glory basically kill her. Angel thought. Oh God, my love. he thought. "Tell me Slayer, what's your little friend doing here? Is he connected TO MY KEY?!"  
  
"We believe, you're most magnificent one, that HE is her helper." Murk said. "He...he helped Dawn escape."  
  
Glory looked as though she was going to explode before she shrugged. "Oh well. I guess that the kid sister wasn't such good blackmail." And in another flash, Glory had her arm wrapped tightly around Buffy's neck. "Okay, tell me *friend*, Do YOU know about my key?" Angel looked down at Buffy before returning his concentration to Glory. "Tell me, or I pop the Slayer's head off like *that*." Glory said, shaking her arms back and forth. "WHERE. IS. IT?" She demanded. With each word, she only tightened her grip around Buffy's neck.   
  
Buffy looked wide-eyed at Angel. Please...please don't say anything stupid. Angel!  
  
"It's me!" Angel shouted to Glory unexpectedly. "The key...it's me!"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TBC.....  
What do you think so far? What do you think is gonna happen?  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Finding Herself 5

WOAH! Thank you to everyone that sent me feedback on the last part that I just sent out. Thanks! Just like last time, I feel so happy now!  
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
Disclaimer in part 1!  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (5/?)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"It's me!" Angel shouted to Glory unexpectedly. "The key...it's me!"  
  
Buffy froze. She felt as though the air had been knocked out of her and she had just been kicked in the stomach. NO! She thought. No, Angel is NOT going to sacrifice himself for this. She looked at him and couldn't read his eyes. What is he doing? "Angel..." she started.  
  
"SHUT up." Glory commanded, pushing Buffy to the floor.   
  
After everything that she had just gone through, Buffy could only sit there on the rocky floor of the caves, watching Glory walk around Angel. God, no. She thought. Angel, I won't let you do this. You've got your own thing...up in LA. You can't die. People need you. Buffy couldn't even think clearly. I need you.  
  
"So...the helper's got a name." Glory said, walking around Angel. "Angel, hmm?" Angel tried to get free...tried to break out of the minions' grasp, but found it too hard. Angel looked down at Buffy. Get out of here, he thought. Buffy...my love, please go. He was silently commanding to her. However, all she could do was sit there, stunned into silence.  
  
"Ooh, he's a feisty one, I'll tell you that." Glory said. "So...you say you're my key..." Glory stopped and took a second, looking him over and moving in to quickly smell him. "Sorry hon, that's impossible. The key is a PURE thing. YOU are a vampire." She said to Angel. "I can smell it."  
  
"I'm a vampire, so what?" Angel asked back to her. "You think a vampire would help a Slayer? I may be a vampire, but I'm different. I've got a soul." Glory gave him a blank look. "What, you don't know what a soul is?" He asked back to her. "It's my human heart...that *IS* the key. I've been in LA to escape from you. Buffy called me down when you kidnapped Dawn. I'm the key, dammit. Let Buffy go."   
  
Angel...please, no. Buffy thought. She couldn't bear the thought of Angel now leaving her too. This was her fight...he shouldn't have even been butting in at all. This was her problem...now Angel was going to get killed for it.   
  
Glory thought about it for a second more. "Fine." She started to walk away from Angel, going back to where her spell supplies were set up. "Jinx, Murk. Tie him up." The two minions began dragging Angel over to the rock where Dawn had once been. "Slayer, get out. I no longer need you." Glory said back to Buffy.  
  
Finally, Buffy snapped out of her shock and uneasily stood to her feet. This was her chance. She could get back to Giles...heal up, and head back out to get Angel. She looked around her at the materials for the spell. What would happen to him? Buffy looked over at Angel with nothing but fear and panic in her eyes. She held onto her right side, supporting her bruised and broken ribs.   
  
"No. Angel! Don't do this." She said over to him, beginning to walk over to him. She could get him out...she could do this.   
  
"Buffy, just get out." He replied, looking over at her. His voice stopped her walking.  
  
"Angel-"  
  
"Buffy!" Angel yelled at her. She actually saw his eyes flash his demonic yellow, signaling that he was both angry and passionate about carrying this out. "Buffy..." his voice was calmer...smoother. "Just go."   
  
Finally, with one longing look back at Angel, Buffy turned and began limping out of the caves. I'm coming back for you, Angel. I'm coming back.  
  
As Buffy walked out of the caves, she heard Glory yelling at Angel. Suddenly, Angel let out a scream of pure agony and pain. Oh God...is she starting already? Buffy thought. Gradually, her pace turned into a steady run. She ran as fast as she could...faster than the wind, all the way back to Giles' house.  
  
TBC....  
What do you think?  
  
  



	6. Finding Herself 6

WOAH! Thank you to everyone that sent me feedback on the last part that I just sent out. Thanks!! Its you guys that keep my frantically typing away on my PC, even though I'm sick as can be!   
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
Disclaimer in part 1!  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (6/?)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Buffy ran back to Giles' faster than she had ever remembered. Faster than she had run after Riley, faster than she had run back to Sunnydale High after her fight with Angelus...faster than she thought was possible. She had to get back to him. She still couldn't believe that she had just left- deserted- Angel like that. She should have stayed and helped- she could have beaten Glory's 2 lackeys. It was Glory that was the problem. Now, who knew what she was doing to Angel- whether he was still alive or- no! I don't think that way. Buffy thought, nearing Giles' house. Angel will be fine, because I won't accept anything else.   
  
However, Buffy finally knew what she did want. After everything she'd been through in the past 48 hours, she'd realized how precious life really was. Sure, Buffy knew that life was precious before- being the Slayer will do that to you. But now she'd realized that she'd let Angel slip through her fingers too easily. Okay, yeah...two years ago she was an entirely different person, but now, she was more mature. She knew what she wanted, what she had *always* wanted- Angel. The minute she got him out of there, she was going to make this work!  
  
Buffy rounded the corner and neared Giles' house. Finally! She thought, walking up to the door. "DAWN!" Buffy shouted out the second after she opened the door. Breathless, bruised, beaten, but still in tact, the Slayer ran inside.  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn shouted back, running up to her older sister. With tears in the each other's eyes, Dawn pulled Buffy closer to her, hugging her tightly. Thank God she's safe." Buffy thought. Dawn tightened her hold onto Buffy and Buffy suddenly hissed in pain, taking a step back. "Ooh, sorry." Dawn apologized.  
  
"No...no, I'm okay." She looked around the room- sure was quiet. Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn were off in the corner of the room, talking among each other. Everyone else- the Sunnydale Scooby gang- sat around the couches. Everything was clearly divided. "I...I just need to sit...sit down." Buffy croaked out, moving over to the couch and sitting. "Giles?"  
  
"Hmm?" Giles asked back, watching his beaten Slayer very slowly sit.  
  
"Ice, please?" Buffy asked. Giles nodded and walked back into the kitchen. Dawn sat down next to Buffy, holding her hand. Buffy took her other hand and ran it through Dawn's hair. "Are you okay?" She asked her sister.  
  
"Yeah." Dawn nodded. "I'm not the one that just got body slammed."   
  
"You let me worry about myself." Buffy replied. She paused, taking in a breath before continuing to speak. "Did Glory do anything to you? Did she hurt you at all?"  
  
"No...I'm fine. Just a little shaken up, that's all." Dawn replied.  
  
"Here you are, Buffy." Giles said, handing her a pack of ice.  
  
"Thanks Giles." Buffy replied, taking it from him and placing it on her right shoulder and neck area. Buffy rested silently for a minute before standing back up. She was still sore as hell, but managed to climb to her feet. "You guys, we gotta go back there."  
  
A chorus of "What's" echoed throughout the room- even from the Angel team. "Why go back to there, Buffy?" Willow asked. "We got Dawn out, that's all that mattered."  
  
Giles nodded. "And you are in *no* condition to go *any*where." Giles said. "You need to heal up and get some rest- now sit."  
  
Buffy looked as though se were going to protest, but she sat back down on the couch, groaning all the way. Everything was silent in the room- no one was speaking. Oh God...Angel. she thought. Her excitement from getting to Dawn had momentarily put Angel out of her thoughts...until everything came crashing back to her.   
  
"Hey, I don't wanna interrupt anything here or nothing," Gunn started. Everyone turned his or her attention towards him. "But, uh, in case y'all haven't noticed, our boss, *Angel* isn't here too."   
  
Everyone turned his or her heads to Buffy. She could only bury her head in her hands and suddenly let out a sob. God, I've lost him too. They'll never forgive me...I'll never forgive myself. Buffy thought. She started crying, crying for another loved one that she had lost.  
  
"Buffy?" Xander questioned, sitting down on her other side of the couch. "Did you see Angel? Did he catch up to you?" Buffy could only silently nod her head.  
  
Cordelia stood up and moved closer to Buffy. The entire time she had been here, she'd stuck next to Wesley and Gunn, her only true friends now. Honestly, she wanted as little as possible to do with Sunnyhell. She wanted to forget everything that had ever happened in this town...she wanted to move on for good. However, if Angel, her boss, best friend, and vampire that would soon Shanshu, was missing, well...Cordy was just as worried as the rest of them. "Buffy? Where is Angel?"  
  
"Oh God," Buffy moaned into her hands. They're going to all hate me. "He...he's not coming back..."   
  
"Angel?" Wesley asked, looking over at her in wonder.   
  
"Yeah, when he set me free, he said that you two would be right behind me." Dawn added, looking at her sister.  
  
"What happened, you two get into a fight again? You bitched his mouth off and then tried to stake him again?" Cordelia asked. Typical Buffy.  
  
"Cordelia!" Buffy shouted, raising her head and looking at her with tears in her eyes. Immediately, Cordelia softened, realizing what a mistake it was the yell at Buffy right now. She was so fragile, she couldn't take much more. "I...he...Angel's de..."  
  
"Angel's dead?" Cordelia asked. So much emotion went into those two words...everyone was slightly surprised. Instantly, Cordelia thought back to almost a year ago when there was a prophecy... "NO. He CAN'T die!" Everyone turned to look at her, once again surprised by her outburst.  
  
"No way, man. I know Angel...he's got the moves." Gunn added. Everything here was so new to him- he didn't know anyone except his friends that he came with. But the shock of the vampire that he had formed a bond with and worked for was just too much.   
  
"Buffy...What happened?" Giles asked her soothingly.  
  
"I..." Buffy started. "Giles, I can't-" But she looked around at everyone- Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn with their worried expressions, Willow, Tara, Anya, and even Xander with their expressions of worry and pity on their face. They had been through the Buffy and Angel saga before, but this...this was new.   
  
Buffy wiped her tears and started speaking. "Okay...you deserve to know. We...I was fighting Glory to distract her from Dawn so Angel could get her out of there. I...I was down, and then Angel was there..." Buffy stopped talking, pushing back her feelings right now. "Her two minions had him...told her that he helped me...and...then, when Glory threatened to kill me unless Angel told her who the key was, he said it was him. Angel lied...told her that he was the key, got her to believe it...and then he told me to get out. Told me to get back to Giles and forget about him." Buffy couldn't talk anymore...she put her head back in her lap and cried.   
  
"Oh, Buffy..." Willow whispered, getting up and walking over to her best friend. She tried to move and comfort Buffy, but Buffy instinctively moved away, wanting to be left alone.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile, Cordelia, Gunn, and Wesley had left the main room and were now back in Giles' back dining room, talking among themselves. They had heard what Buffy was talking about and Cordelia was mad...OK, that's an understatement. "Oh my God!" Cordelia hissed. "We *just* got him back and now he's gone? Uh huh....well, at least he's keeping up with the consistency! Buffy, once again, driving him insane. Just like NORMAL, he's ready to give up his life for her!"   
  
"You can't blame him, Cordelia." Wesley said. "I mean, this IS Buffy we're talking about. And Dawn was in trouble...and that's his job. To help the ones in trouble."  
  
"And *of course* it's Buffy." Cordelia said sarcastically.   
  
"Who *is* this chick, anyway?" Gunn asked, pointing back out to the main room. "I mean, I get the whole Slayer thing...I'm okay with that. But how come Angel's never come down here to help her out before? And what's with the who air out there?"  
  
"Boy...you have *no* idea, Gunn." Cordy replied, looking at him. "Fine. You want to know the whole Buffy and Angel epic? Okay...here we go..."   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Is there anything I can do?" Dawn asked Buffy back outside. Buffy only shook her head no. "Okay..."   
  
Oh God, I can't do this anymore. Buffy thought. In less than one week, the two people that she had loved the most had left her...suddenly, unexpectedly, and unfairly. I thought we were on the path to being together again. I thought I could work this out. I thought...hell, I don't know what to think anymore.  
  
Everyone around the room was dead silent. How could they carry on a conversation after what Buffy had just told them. Once again, Angel had been more than willing and able to save Buffy's life by giving up his own. Their love was still there...it would *never* leave.   
  
"Buffy...y'know...everything will be all right." Xander said to her from the chair across from her.  
  
"All right?" Buffy asked, looking back up at him. "Xander...I can't do this...not again."  
  
"This? This what?" He asked to her. He talked slowly and calmly to not sound like he was accusing her or getting upset with her, because honestly, he wasn't. Poor Buffy, He kept thinking.   
  
"I lost him...again! This makes it three times...three times that I've lost him." Buffy said. This was what she had been thinking about the whole time. "But at least he came back, or what just two hours away. Glory *killed* him...took him from me, and this time he'll never be coming back." Buffy hid her face, bending over and continuing to cry everything out.  
  
Xander and everyone else looked upon her with pity. Okay, it wasn't fair. Buffy was right, too much had gone on between her and Angel. Shouldn't they get some peace? And although Tara and Anya really didn't fully understand what was going on, they sympathized along with her.  
  
Suddenly, the front door to Giles's house burst open. Buffy stood to her feet, ready for another attack from Glory or her minions. In the darkness, everyone in the room could see a shadow- a silhouette from the moon beaming down outside. Buffy slowly raised her head as her tears continued to fall down her cheeks. Oh God...  
  
"ANGEL!"   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
TBC...  



	7. Finding Herself 7

WOAH! Thank you to everyone that sent me feedback on the last part that I just sent out. Thanks!! Its you guys that keep my frantically typing away on my PC, even though I'm sick as can be!   
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
Disclaimer in part 1!  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (7/?)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Angel!" Buffy shouted. Very slowly, Angel dragged himself inside Giles' house. He came in limping and holding his side- but he was here. He was safe and he was alive, that's all that mattered to Buffy. Oh God, he's here. He's safe. Buffy kept thinking over and over. With a sudden burst of speed, Buffy rose to her feet and flew into Angel's arms, not caring what anyone thought- what they saw.   
  
"Buffy..." Angel whispered down to her. Buffy wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly, vowing that she would never let him go. He looked down at Buffy, momentarily forgetting all his pains. "How's Dawn?"  
  
"She's fine." Buffy replied, looking up at him. She had forgotten that they were still wrapped around each other- it was like they were really together again. "She said she's shaken up, but she's fine." Her voice was low, talking only to him. Meanwhile, everyone else in the room kept silent. Willow, Xander, and Giles were used to have Angel and Buffy forget about everyone else when they talked. And Tara and Anya were simply watching, silent also.   
  
"That's good." Angel said back down to her.   
  
Buffy burrowed her head into his chest. "God, I thought I had lost you. I thought you were never coming back...that you had-"  
  
"Shh, I'm right here." Angel whispered to her. "I'm okay. I got out."   
  
Buffy sobbed back tears, relief shining in her features. "I...I couldn't stand to loose you also. Not after everything else." And Buffy raised her head and met lips with Angel's. Everyone else in the room felt as though they should intervene, stop what was happening, but no one made a move. Buffy and Angel pulled apart a second later, still holding onto each other. "I love you," she whispered into his ear. No one else in the room heard what she was now telling him. "I don't care what happens, what we go through, I will always love you."  
  
Although Angel didn't say the words, his mind was saying the same thing and the way that he looked at her said that he loved her. "Buffy?"   
  
"Yeah?" She asked, slightly embarrassed now that she had shown so much emotion in front of everyone.   
  
"Can I sit down? I just lost feeling in my right leg." Angel said, smiling down at her.  
  
Oh wow, he smiled. Buffy realized. "Oh, gosh! Of course you can." And carefully, she helped Angel over to the couch, siting him down where she once was. Buffy, still holding onto his hand, sat next to him, her eyes never once leaving his.   
  
And at once, after everything had happened, the questions began.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Did Glory-"  
  
"How did you-"  
  
"Is she still-"  
  
"Angel!" Cordelia shouted, coming out from the room behind him. She, Gunn, and Wesley had walked outside after hearing all the commotion in the main room. The three of them were completely surprised by seeing Angel sitting on the couch with Buffy at his side.   
  
"Hey Cordy." Angel replied, giving her a quick wave.  
  
"Angel!" Cordelia said again. "You're okay!"  
  
"I thought we covered that," Angel whispered to Buffy, making her laugh. Hey, when did he start making jokes? She thought.   
  
"What happened?" Wesley asked. "Buffy said that-"  
  
"Buffy was mistaken." Angel replied, looking over at her.   
  
"See? I told you nothing could happen to Angel." Gunn said. "Like I said, he's got the moves." Gunn leaned down and patted Angel on the shoulder before going straight into this involved handshake between the two, with Angel smiling the whole time. Xander and Willow looked at each other with this 'what?!' expression on their faces. Both of them were thinking, since when did Angel get so...unbroody?  
  
That was when Buffy noticed that he had changed. She had barely seen it when he walked in the door- talking to Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn. But now, as Cordelia bent over, hugging Angel around the neck, Wesley smiling down at him, and Gunn having just cracked a joke with him, Angel had seemed to finally find his place. It was as though he was now fitting in with everyone. He had some good friends- it seemed that they knew him better than she knew him any more. However, she was genuinely happy for Angel, finally being able to fit in with a group: his own Scooby Gang.  
  
"So...I hate to ruin this joyous moment," Giles said, stepping into the conversation he had been watching the whole time. "What happened to Glory? I assume you got free?"  
  
"Glory is gone." Angel replied simply. Everyone, even the Angel Investigations crew, was slightly surprised, a few of them gasping. He had made it sound so simple, as though getting rid of her was easy.   
  
"How?" Buffy asked, looking over at him.   
  
"Well, she tied me up to the rock before you left." Angel began. "And after you did leave, she started doing this spell. I assume this was the spell that would open the key, activate the key, whatever...my guess was that it was simply to release the energy to her. However, since I'm *not* the key, the spell backfired, and something seemed to ripple through her. All of a sudden, it got really bright and she just...died out. Pretty anticlimactic if you ask me." Everyone in the room grinned. "Glory fell over and simply died. And once I got free, it was pretty easy to defeat her minions. Just a few scrapes and bruises here and there. Nothing that won't heal."  
  
Everyone showed signed of relief, especially Dawn and Buffy. Dawn walked over and hugged Buffy, glad that everything was okay. After that, there was a big round of hugs, group hugs, and handshakes. Just like the old days, everyone had been reunited to defeat the big-bad. It was just like old times.  
  
During those few minutes, Buffy managed to grab a hold of Angel and dragged him back into the back room, closing the door behind her. She wanted several minutes to talk to him alone- without an audience.   
  
The two of them walked to the middle of the room and sat down on the couch there. Neither of them spoke up for a second, afraid of what might happen. "Angel...God, I can't thank you enough for coming here Angel."  
  
"It was no problem, really."  
  
"No, I mean it. Angel, I can't even begin to thank you enough. Coming here and helping me, saving Dawn...it means *so* much to me." Buffy said forcefully.  
  
"Buffy, it wasn't that big a deal. You know I would have come here, no matter what. Besides, I'm just doing what I can for...for the woman I love."   
  
Love... Buffy looked over at him. "Love, huh?"  
  
"Oh yeah." Angel replied, before leaning over and kissing her gently. Their kiss quickly increased in passion, Angel running his hands down her arms as Buffy's hands tangled in his hair. Their love was flowing all around them. Finally, the two lovers had been reunited.   
  
"Angel?" Buffy asked, several minutes later. "So...where do we stand?"  
  
"Where do you want us to stand?" He asked back to her.  
  
"I don't know. All I know is that I want to be with you again. I know you're probably going to try to logic the both of us to death, but all I know is that I want you." Angel looked as though he was going to speak and Buffy cut him off. "I mean, I know that would probably think that you being away from me is the best thing for me. Well, it's not. You're wrong. *You* are the best thing for me, you're what I need." Buffy looked at him, expecting some sort of angsty reply.  
  
"I'm so glad to hear you say all of that." Angel said.   
  
Buffy's eyes widened. Okay, not the answer I was expecting. "Angel, I want to try again. We can do this...I know we can." She was begging now, afraid that he would back out of this and say no. "Angel, we can do the long distance thing."  
  
"Y'know what? That doesn't sound like a bad idea." Angel replied, before pulling Buffy back into his arms and kissing her again. Oh God, I'm in heaven. Buffy thought, as she felt Angel slide his hands down her back and continuing to kiss her. We're together. She sang in her head.   
  
Finally, when the need for air was needed, Buffy pulled back, resting her forehead against Angel's chest. She closed her eyes, taking everything in. A smile stretched across her face when she felt Angel wrap his arms around her and simply hold her- something she had missed for over 2 years. Glory was gone. Dawn was safe. She and Angel were together again. Oh yeah, life was *very* good.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TBC...  
So? What'd ya think?  



	8. Finding Herself 8

WOAH! Thank you to everyone that sent me feedback on the last part that I just sent out. Thanks!!!   
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
Disclaimer in part 1!  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (8/9)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Almost an hour later, Angel and Buffy finally walked out of the room. When they walked out, they saw that everyone had gathered around the couch, chatting away. The Angel Investigations crew had blended in perfectly with the Sunnydale Scooby Gang. When Buffy and Angel met eyes, they were both thinking the same thing. It was like just old times.   
  
"Hey guys," Angel spoke up, walking out into the middle of the room. "It's about time to go. Sun's rising in a few hours."   
  
"Thank God," Gunn sighed. "It'll be nice to get back to LA."   
  
"Here, here." Wesley agreed, standing up beside Gunn and stretching.   
  
Buffy moved away from Angel, walking away from the group and going to stand by the door. She figured that Angel would just say good-bye to everyone by himself.   
  
After saying goodbye to Willow, Tara, Anya, even Xander, and giving a slight hug to Dawn, Angel walked over to Giles. Neither of the two was sure what to say or do. After all, Angelus had still killed Giles' girlfriend about 3 years ago. However, Giles had completely forgiven him. Angel took Giles' open hand and shook it.   
  
"It was a pleasure seeing you again, Giles."   
  
"Yes, it was. Please, feel free to drop by again more often." Giles' spoke.   
  
Angel looked back behind him towards Buffy. "I don't think that will be a problem." He replied, smiling back towards Buffy. Buffy blushed from what he said.   
  
Angel turned and began walking out the door behind Cordelia, Gunn, and Wesley. "I don't believe this," Cordelia complained as she walked out. "We didn't even need to come at all. What a waste of gas and sleep." She moaned. Gunn and Wesley only grinned at each other and followed her out to the car.   
  
When Angel walked to the doorway, he walked over to Buffy, who stood waiting for him. Angel took her hands and bumped his forehead against her's. Angel rested his forehead against hers now, looking at her straight in the eyes. "I love you," he whispered down to her. Both of them heard the room fell dead silent, but the two only concentrated on each other. "I'm never letting you go, ever again."  
  
"Good." Buffy replied. "Because I really love you...my Angel." Buffy replied, just as softly as he had spoken.   
  
"I'll call you soon, okay?" Angel asked her.  
  
Buffy brightened instantly. Angel's going to call me... she processed in her head. "Okay, sounds good to me." She replied.   
  
"I love you." Angel whispered once more, before kissing her forehead. With one last loving look back at his beauty, Angel headed out the door, closing it silently behind him.  
  
Buffy stood there a second before spinning back around to face everyone. A giant smile was plastered across her face as she looked at the surprised expressions on everyone's faces. Willow, Xander, and Dawn looked as though they had just seen Buffy grow a third head. Everyone else was just dumbfounded.   
  
Never in their dreams did anyone ever think that there would be a Buffy *and* Angel again. Everyone, including Buffy's new friends, thought that their love had gone through everything and had been lost. Died out.   
  
But no, everyone was completely wrong- even Buffy. Inwardly, everyone was pleased with Buffy, because now everyone knew that if Buffy and Angel's love could resume anew, then they could beat everything that stood in their way.   
  
"What?" Buffy asked towards her friends, who were still shocked.   
  
"So..." Willow started, "are we back to a 'wow' potential?"  
  
Buffy nodded and burst out laughing. God, it felt SO good to finally be able to laugh. All she had done was cry in the last 48 hours. Now, she was so happy. Words couldn't even describe it.   
  
She looked at her friends and was thinking about Angel as she answered. "Yeah. I think so."  
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TBC....epilogue to go. I'm gonna try and get it out tonight, but don't know if I can.   



	9. Finding Herself 9: Epilogue

Thank to you EVERYONE who has sent me feedback over the course of this story. Special thanks to Taylor, Ryan, Sara-lee, niway, Crystal, Kshma, Barb, Anna, Michelle, Hannah, and MANY more! It's been great putting this out and getting such a great response.   
  
Mistakes are purely my fault...I'm not the world's greatest typist.   
Disclaimer in part 1!  
Feedback is much appreciated @ LuVnAnGeLNBuFfY@aol.com  
  
Finding Herself (9/9)  
By *~Rachel*~  
  
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It was two days before Angel had the chance to call Buffy. With everything that had been going on up in his town, he just hadn't had much free time. Now that Wesley was the boss, Angel couldn't just do whatever he wanted now. However, finally, after a long day of the usual saving the world and fighting the demons on the streets of LA, he managed to sit down and call up his beloved. He knew that they had many things to talk about.   
  
The phone rang a couple times before someone picked up. "Hello?" A light, feminine voice asked.   
  
"Hello, my love." Angel replied.  
  
"Angel!" Buffy said excitedly. Inside her own home, she walked over to a chair with the cordless phone and sat down, crossing her legs. "Hey."  
  
"How are you?" He asked her.  
  
"Good. What have you been up to lately?" Buffy asked. Honestly, she had expected for him to call her yesterday. However, one day later wasn't the end of the world.   
  
"Oh, nothing big. Just helped Lindsey McDonald, this top-notch lawyer get out of Wolfram and Hart, that's all." Angel replied, thinking back as he was watching Lindsey drive off with a "cops suck" sign on the back of his truck. He let out a chuckle just thinking about it.   
  
"What?" Buffy asked, having heard him laughing.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Just thinking back to Lindsey leaving town."  
  
"Oh, okay." Buffy replied. Fine, I'll just make him tell me that story sometime soon. "You'll have to talk to me about Wolfram and Hart soon."  
  
"Okay, how does this weekend sound? You *are* coming up here this weekend, right?"  
  
"Yes, of course!" Buffy replied. "God, I can't believe you own a hotel!"   
  
"I thought we already covered that."  
  
Buffy laughed into the phone. Angel loved that sound- that light and crispy tinsel-sound of her laughter. "I know, I know. It's just...the last time we talked...okay, the last time I *bitched* at you, you were...different than you are now."  
  
"So...you're trying to tell me that I've changed?" Angel asked her. He swiveled around in his chair and put his feet up on the desk he sat at.   
  
"Yeah...but good." Buffy assured him. Good thing Angel couldn't see her, because Buffy was blushing furiously. "Always good."   
  
The line fell silent for a couple seconds, both of the two lovers taking in everything that had been said in a matter of seconds. The two couldn't believe that after everything they had been though, now they were having a normal phone conversation. It was...a first.   
  
"Y'know, Buffy..." Angel started, getting serious. "There's something that I forgot to tell you the other day."  
  
"Oh?" Buffy asked, "what is it?"  
  
"Buffy, I don't know how to say this..." Angel stopped, now becoming unsure if he should tell her everything or now. This could change so much for both of them. "But...there is this interesting prophecy thing I found out about almost a year ago..."  
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Three hours had passed and Buffy was still talking to Angel. She had nearly fallen out of her chair when he had told her about the "human" prophecy. God, imagine us... she had thought. 6 years from now, finally able to be together. It sounded like a dream- a perfect dream.  
  
Buffy and Angel had caught up with each other's lives. Buffy told him about her summer spent in Sunnydale, Dracula visiting her, and most importantly, her on-going battle against Glory that had started when school did. She told him about how she kept loosing against Glory. How she could beat her with a swipe of her hand. She spoke of everything else she had been through, including her Mom. Although Angel had heard some of this when he last talked to her, he listened intently, listening to the soothing sound of her voice.   
  
When it was Angel's turn, he talked about Wolfram and Hart. How they had brought back Darla as a human in order to torment him and drive him crazy. He spoke of how close he was to saving her, how she had accepted her eventual death, and then how she had been ripped of everything when she was sired. He blamed himself...just another soul he failed to save. Later, as a vampire...Darla had continued Wolfram and Hart's plan. He even told her that it had almost worked, but now he was back on track. Angel told her of Dru coming to town, ruining everything, firing the Angel Investigations gang and eventually finding a way back into their hearts.   
  
Buffy glanced at the clock. 10:30- time for her patrol and a check-in with Giles. "Angel, honey...I've got to go." She said, interrupting Angel's talk.  
  
"Oh, wow...guess I lost track of time." Angel replied. "I should get going also. Cordy, here, is making faces at me and motioning for me to hang up."  
  
"Angel! I am not." Buffy heard Cordelia say in the background.   
  
Buffy laughed. Inwardly, she was thanking Wesley, Gunn, and Cordelia for being there for him and keeping him tied to the world. There was no doubt that he would still be brooding today if it weren't for his friends working with him. Angel was about to say something before going back to talk to his crew.  
  
"Wes...no, I'm talking to Buffy. Wesley! C'mon!" Angel complained. Buffy laughed again when she heard him complain and whine like a baby. "Okay, I'll say goodbye. Give me 5 more minutes."   
  
Buffy heard Wesley say "Fine," in the background.  
  
"Sorry about that, Beloved. My *boss* wants me to say good bye." Angel apologized.   
  
"All right," Buffy replied regrettably, knowing she would miss him terribly until she got to visit him in 3 days. "Take care of yourself, okay? I don't want you to get dusted before that prophecy kicks in."  
  
Angel laughed- not a small chuckle, but a full, happy laugh. Buffy wanted to melt into a pool of Buffy-goo right then and there. She made him laugh; that sexy, smooth, laughter that was entirely Angel. And suddenly, she felt an entire 4 years younger. Never in her whole life, had she ever felt more...alive and full of life. "All right, Buffy. You do the same."  
  
"You know me."  
  
"I sure do, that's why I am telling you." Angel replied. "I'll see you Saturday."  
  
"All right." Buffy paused. OK, do I tell him? "Oh...and Angel?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I...I love you." It felt almost perfect rolling off the tip of her tongue. It was so easy to say those three words to him- it felt so right.   
  
"I love you too, Buffy." Angel replied, smiling as he heard those words. "I'll see you soon."  
  
"Bye..." she whispered before hanging up the phone.   
  
Buffy sat in the chair by herself for a few seconds, still as a statue. Everything was perfect. Once again, Buffy's knight in shining armor had saved her. He'd calmed her after her mother's death, she'd risked his own life to save her's and Dawn's. Now they were back together- the way they should be.   
  
The way they should *always* be.  
  
The past week had been a hurricane- from her mother's death, Angel's possible death, and now reunited with Angel. However, during that week, bits and pieces of the old Buffy had broken through that shield she had placed around herself more than a year ago when college started. And Buffy knew that in the entire process, she had managed to finally find herself.  
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Did you like the ending? PLEASE let me know! Who knows? You may get a fluffy sequel out of sending me some FB! (Hint, hint)  
  



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